20151217: How to throw a tantrum (for grown ups!)

How to throw a tantrum (For grown-ups)

Firstly, wake up in a bad mood,

And refuse any offers of food;

Let your blood sugar level reduce,

Then find the perfect excuse.

You'll need to pick a fight;

But don't make it too light -

A sulk is sufficient for little things

Keep important things for tanty throwing

Pick your fight and make it loud;

So even your grand kids 'd be proud -

Argue and whinge, bicker and whine,

Build to a crescendo; it'll take time.

Once you've said all you can say,

Finish abruptly. Call it a day;

Put your mouth in a pout;

Look cranky and really put out.

Find a spot to pass the time;

One where others will keep you in mind.

You want them to know what you're doing;

Otherwise why bother with tanty throwing?

You mustn't speak a word at all;

You must keep them all in thrall -

They mustn't know what you intend,

You must punish their impudence.

Rebuff all pleas for conversation,

Or even for compensation.

Refuse offers of nourishment,

There must be complete chastisement.

Once you've finished your reading,

Watched a movie or  rubbishy TV,

Had a nap and called a friend;

Now's the time to call an end.

Tanty's finished, all is done -

You've had your say and won.

It's been a tiring day, once all's said;

So, dinner, bath, and off to bed. 

17 December 2015