The other day my iPad turned on me
And attacked me;
It jumped from my hand
And left a gash in my leg
Clearly not a big event
In the greater scheme of life
But the blood on the floor
Would be torture to any housewife
The ambulance man was polite to me
Puzzled why I called -
No, He said - no big deal,
Just treat it nicely, it'll heal.
But iPads don't attack every day -
And this one picked it's mark;
My skin is frail, oedema bad,
Ulceration is barely kept at bay
And we all know too well,
Ulcers are like unwelcome
Family visitors: they stay too long -
Fussy and untidy, never paying their way.
So I treated my iPad warily,
And took my gash to visit;
A nice three hour visit to the local -
The local emergency room.
The doctors initially sceptic
Is this woman a nutter?
But eventually my co-morbidities
Convinced them to thread me a needle.
Antibiotics? Nah... relax, lady
Don't make a fuss
You don't need all those extras -
You're only making work for us!
It was only the next day
Off I went again, to visit;
The doctors sighed and muttered
This one again - what is it?
It's gone all red, a nice bright angry red;
It needs help, I said,
And very reluctantly, they agreed,
And wrote out a scrip at speed.
Go away, they said. I went.
But was back the next day,
Leg a mess, feverish, spent.
Lying on an ambulance tray.
Oh dear, oh dear! Deary me!
What have you done to yourself?
Why didn't you come to us sooner?
Now you'll have to be our guest.
It's nice and quiet today,
As I lie in my hospital bed;
A drip in my arm,
And a very sore leg.
So be careful, boys and girls,
And be nice to your iPad,
You never know when it'll turn feral ...
And turn on you and attack!
14 June 2015
submitted to the website and subswquently as a pre-write to the contest "Csontest Prompts Suck No 3" Closed 18 July 15. No Place.
No comments:
Post a Comment